A Change of Heart and Attitude

So far, in looking back, it might seem that all my initial experiences with ‘V’ were negative. That is not the case as I later realized she was speaking to me for a long time, I just did not associate the voice speaking to me with the powerful sexy woman of my dreams.
About 4 months before my first dream encounter with her, I was downstairs in my house, just contemplating my life and how I could tell how the next 40 years would pan out and was pretty unhappy about it. I felt stuck in life, miscast in a role in which I did not belong. It was while contemplating that I was surprised to hear a female voice very clearly inside my head ask if I was happy. I realized at that point that my whole life had been about making sure other people were happy, safe and secure in their beliefs, but I never really seemed to care or feel free to pursue things that made me happy. It was a stunning question to me.
This started a roller coaster of seeking and questioning that threatened to take everything I had built my life upon so far. A few days later, I was thinking that maybe in the next life I could be all those things I wanted to, as it seemed to me I was too old and not able to change everything for what would make me happy. It was at this time I heard that familiar voice again, and she said very clearly “You are not too old”. This gave me encouragement and freedom to pursue and study other belief systems that were more in line with my spiritual experiences.
What really made the change of attitude in myself towards ‘V’ was an encounter in which she appeared to me and told me something about a personal situation that was the complete opposite of what I believed God was saying to me. A few weeks later her words proved absolutely true, and my religious beliefs were shattered never to be the same again.