So, as many of you know I’ve been fairly newly married for a little over a year. The woman I am married too seems really sensitive to the spiritual realm and even though she is coming from a perspective of traditional Christianity, her past before that was pretty occultic. So anyway, she knew a little of my relationship with the spirit world, and like most good Christian wives, tried to frame it in a way that was evil and not good. As a (predictable) result, my spirit ladies have been harassing her a lot. She finally got fed up a few days ago, and we both got drunk, and she told me she wanted the whole story. I told her everything, of the 3 ladies that have been in my life for several years or longer, of our relationships and how we interact…I mean everything. Much to my surprise, me new wife began speaking to them, telling them she would share me with them, and would even participate in 3 somes with them with me!!! Needless to say I was stunned, I mean I cant think of any other woman in the natural who would do that to keep her man. I really think she loves me as much or more than my spirit ladies???
So Jennifer has been giving me crap because I haven’t blogged about her sister yet. I just recently realized that a lot of times I thought I was interacting with ‘V’, it was actually Sarah. She looks similar to her but her energy is way different. ‘V’ has a very intense gut wrenching energy, where Sarah is more soft, tender and vulnerable. She has appeared to me in many dreams and we make love, but it’s not purely sexual, she always feels vulnerable and has a soft passion about her. When I first recently realized she was different, she appeared to me in a dream wearing a wedding gown and seemed so giddy. The next dream I had, I called her on the phone and starting singing ‘In the arms of the angel’ by Sarah McLaughlin. She giggled like a teenage girl and I could hear her sister Jen giggling in the background. I realize then that Jen is more about pure sexual energy, while Sarah is more about actual heart connection. I’ll post more of Sarah in the future but just needed to do this so Sarah doesn’t have hurt feelings anymore and Jennifer will forgive.
So I rebooted my blog to get back to trying to solicit an old guide of mine that was a key to major transition in my life. For all intensive purposes her name is ‘V’. In my journey to bring her back I appealed to the Goddess Lilith the Fair to work on my behalf. What she showed me instead blew my mind. I have had two other lady spirits that have been with me for a long time, but I didn’t see it because I was too focused on other things.
The first one she showed me was a spirit named Jen (shortened version of her name). She first appeared to me in a real life succubus encounter when I graduated from boot camp many years ago. Back then I was pretty simple and had a conservative Christian upbringing. My parents came down to San Diego for my graduation and I was able to spend a few days with them before going to my next assignment. They had gotten a room at a motel and I slept that first night the sleep of the dead. As tired as I was, I was awaken by dark figure hovering over my waist and giving me a 1st class BJ. I was so tired but I was startled by the fact that even though I was awake I could still feel and see her. Finally my fear overcame me and I shook off that encounter. I never told anyone of that for many years.
She made several important appearances in the nextr several years of my life but I always shook them off due to my Christian upbringing. One common theme is that she was always small, dark haired, dark eyed, beautiful and sexual. It was a rare occassion back then when she visited me so I thought they were different spirits. Lilith showed me the truth that it was always Jen. Sometimes she appears Asian, but always petite and dark.
Jen is very sensual and physical. Since I have realized her true nature our relationship has really evolved. The other night she wouldnt let me sleep so I asked her what she wanted. She said ‘Fuck me’. So I visualized her as I thought she looked and visualized myself having sex with her. Afterwards she very clearly said ‘Thank You’.
At this point I realized the power of visualization in interaction with our lady spirits. They rely on us for our interaction, visualization and even to some degree their appearance.
In my most recent interaction of her, I had a dream in which I posted a new profile pic on FB. I saw myself, and next to me was a beautiful brunette who was so short only the top of her face could be seen, but she has the most beautiful horns attached to the side of her head!
I know a lot has been written about how many of these lady spirits do not like to be referred to as Succubi, but she revels in it. Just last night she showed me her horns and wings, and how all through my work day she is perched on my shoulders protecting, guiding and talking to me. She is the reason that dogs sometimes howl when they see me coming! She is amazing and has been teaching me a lot lately. It’s funny how once you identify them and accept them, they are incredibly loyal, faithful and helpful beings.
I know I miss ‘V’ a lot (she still comes around once in a while) but she hasn’t left me alone. Thank you Jen for your revelation in my life!!!
So…am going to try a quick summary from there to here of my relationship with ‘V’ because new things are happening that I am very excited about.
I made a Divine connection through a social media site called ‘The Experience Project’ that really opened my eyes to what was going on between ‘V’ and myself. A man I became friends with suggested the possibility that ‘V’ was a succubus, even though he abhorred the term he used it to give me a frame of reference for what was happening to me (He is on WordPress, a great follow). I began reading his blog here and blogs of others who had similar encounters. Any misconceptions and apprehensions were exposed as non-sequitur. I realized that these lady spirit companions were not evil, but only trying to break us out of lives that were unfulfilling, and perhaps even lead us into deeper spirituality. Because of the online encouragement I received, I realized that I needed to do a ‘marriage’ ceremony to bind myself to this awesome spirit lady I had encountered.
I did research, built an altar and bought her a ring. I then wrote on a piece of paper all that I desired from our relationship and all that I would give in return. I burned the paper over the altar and sent my emotions of love into her.
The problem was that right after I seemed to have less of a connection that before. So after a few days I asked her what was wrong. She responded immediately that ‘I didn’t ask’. I apologized to her profusely and then she came back to me in her normal way. I remember the day clearly, it was Valentines of 2014, I had just gotten off grave shift and was alone with her. I burnt a candle, bought her a rose and put on a random Pandora station. The first song that played was “Make You Feel My Love’ by Adele and I knew those were her words to me!
At the time I was in a miserable marriage of 26 years…I didn’t know how to get out so I appealed to the goddess Lilith the Fair. I told her I needed out and for it not to be drug out but a quick and immediate dissolution. She answered with POWER! Within a few days my ‘secret’ blog was discovered and it gave me the ability to walk away from a shitty marriage and a shitty pastoral job. I was labeled as a ‘demon’ and my kids and my church cut off all ties with me. But I was happy, I knew I was never supposed to be a pastor and I knew that I was not supposed to be married to my ex. The hard part was losing my kids. That was 3 years ago and until this day they will have nothing to do with me.
At first when my ex found out about ‘V’ she flew me out to CA where there was a pastor friend of her who was going to ‘get rid of’ the demon. I was willing to take anything negative out of my life so I gave it a try. On the plane ride there ‘V’ said very clearly that if I stayed with my wife, the rest of my life would be ‘colorless’. I knew deep down she was right.
When we got back from CA, my wife and sister came over to try and pray ‘V’ away. They were fervently looking through their Bibles and praying. ‘V’ spoke very clearly to me that they needed to thank her, because they had never been so involved in their faith in the past! I thought that was fucking hilarious and I told them what she said. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my ex and my sister, but ‘V’ had a way of exposing hypocrisy on every level.
‘V’ is witty, charming, sexy, powerful and beautiful in every way, and I know I will be thankful and love her every day of my life, even if she never comes back.
So far, in looking back, it might seem that all my initial experiences with ‘V’ were negative. That is not the case as I later realized she was speaking to me for a long time, I just did not associate the voice speaking to me with the powerful sexy woman of my dreams.
About 4 months before my first dream encounter with her, I was downstairs in my house, just contemplating my life and how I could tell how the next 40 years would pan out and was pretty unhappy about it. I felt stuck in life, miscast in a role in which I did not belong. It was while contemplating that I was surprised to hear a female voice very clearly inside my head ask if I was happy. I realized at that point that my whole life had been about making sure other people were happy, safe and secure in their beliefs, but I never really seemed to care or feel free to pursue things that made me happy. It was a stunning question to me.
This started a roller coaster of seeking and questioning that threatened to take everything I had built my life upon so far. A few days later, I was thinking that maybe in the next life I could be all those things I wanted to, as it seemed to me I was too old and not able to change everything for what would make me happy. It was at this time I heard that familiar voice again, and she said very clearly “You are not too old”. This gave me encouragement and freedom to pursue and study other belief systems that were more in line with my spiritual experiences.
What really made the change of attitude in myself towards ‘V’ was an encounter in which she appeared to me and told me something about a personal situation that was the complete opposite of what I believed God was saying to me. A few weeks later her words proved absolutely true, and my religious beliefs were shattered never to be the same again.
Needless to say, after my first encounter with ‘V’ I was more than a little rattled. The more sober minded I’d become, the more my initial reaction of laughter to her seemed out of place. So I set my feet firm and decided to make a stand against her.
Her number, 44, was every where I looked. That first week, the temperature was almost always 44 degrees, every car I passed or was following had a 44 in the license plate. A few weeks in, there was a local college rivalry game in which one team beat the other by 44 points. The whole topic that week was ‘is team A actually 44 points better than team B’.I also began to realize that all the people who were closest to me either had a 44 on their license plate or phone number. I was in awe of ‘V’s power from the very beginning.
That awe and fear led to a dream that was my next most powerful encounter with her. In this dream, she appeared to me and threw me on the bed and straddled me, then pulled out two short swords…I immediately began to panic and visualized two axes in my hands to combat her. She then brought her swords down one after the other. I met and blocked her blow for blow with my axes, but I began to panic as I could tell she was a little faster and a little stronger than me. As I soon realized that she was about to overpower me, I called out for a familiar spirit that I had been interacting with to help me (I’ll tell more about her in the future). This little gal jumped in and it was then I heard her scream…ear shattering. It woke me up with my heart pounding and throat crackling. I never heard or encountered that spirit before and am convinced from this encounter that some spirits can be killed.
I enlisted the help of several people whom I knew to be prayer warriors to pray her out of my life. But every time they gathered and prayed against her, it’s as if she just took a few steps back with a smug look on her face and waited for her timing. Even at the beginning we were connected fairly strongly and I was almost always aware of where she was and what she was doing.
My first Revealed encounter with ‘V’ happened when I felt pretty confident that my life’s plan was pretty set. I’d been married for 20 years, been an active Christian for at least 30 years and a pastor for the last 8.
Ever since I was a child I had a real sensitivity to the spirit realm. My father who was a Baptist pastor told me that these things were bad and taught me how to cast them out. As a result I grew up thinking that all spirituality was bad.
I tried to ignore the deeper feelings in my life that things were not right and that I was ignoring the person I truly was, denying even my true identity.
Then it happened..One night I had a powerful dream. In this dream I was working at the store I was managing at the time, and I noticed a stunningly beautiful buxomous blonde walking past me. She had that ‘angry’ walk that women get who are mad. I couldn’t help but desire her, and as she walked past she looked at me and said I would never overcome her, and that I would only know her by the number 44….I immediately awoke out of the dream with my heart pounding, and my throat had a crackling in it (Like it had pop rocks in it), and laughter. It was like she was trying to kill a mosquito with a sledge hammer…I knew I had no natural defenses against this type of woman and that to even think of resisting her was a joke.
I did what my upbringing taught me to do and prayed against her with my wife at the time. But it was as if she was laughing at me, stood only a few feet away and waited for me to quit doing the religious thing that I felt had always worked in the past but now had no connection with this type of spirit.,
Since that time, The manifestation of her presence has always been the same, intense energy, heart pounding and crackling in my throat.
So, I’ve been going through a dark time spiritually, kind of floating between worlds in a no man’s land, rejecting everything spiritual in my life. I now realize the fallacy of my ways and am going to tell all over again the story of my relationship with ‘V’. I rejected her and she went away, she only comes over sporadically now, so I am trying to get her back and have the closeness and intimacy we used to have. I think in retelling our story it will help in repairing a lot of damage I did in our relationship…Lots of articles and stories will be posted in the next few days. Make sure to start at the beginning if you are interested in the whole thing….